Issue # 18, August 2004

Dear Impish one,
You are the reason for this newsletter. I'm dedicated to
supporting the "imp" in you - especially this month your
Intuition, Magnificence and Potential.

You're receiving this newsletter because you subscribed to it,
you're a member of "The Imp Community" online, or a friend
passed it on. Sign up or unsubscribe at the end.

A special welcome to new subscribers! Earlier editions are
archived: http://www.theimplady.com/theimpjournal/archives/

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1. Feature Article: Taking 'Evolution' Personally!
2. Coaching Q&A: A Constant Battle for Attention
3. News, Comments, Success Stories, Winners
4. Inspirational Message to Ponder

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1. Feature Article: Taking 'Evolution' Personally!

Is 'evolution' a concept vaguely remembered from some high school
course? Or have you ever thought of evolution as something that's
happening to you personally?

To evolve is to change, grow, unfold. The human race is evolving
dramatically. "The Imp", is about being evolutionary!
About awakening your Intuition, embracing your Magnificence
and realizing your Potential.

I am always delighted when I meet new people who are on the fore-
front of this exciting new path of human adventure. At the last
Vancouver Island Healing Arts Network meeting here in the Comox
Valley, I met Jean Johnson, visiting from Ontario.

Jean is taking NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) in a fresh new
direction with "Thoughtfield Networking" NLP. You will not yet
find that term in an internet search, but there are several books
that Jean mentions that will expand your view of what's possible.
Not just possible for someone else but possible for you.
The Field: The Quest for the Secret Force of the Universe
by Lynn McTaggart and
Infinite Mind: Science of Human Vibrations of Consciousness
by Valerie V. Hunt.

Neuro Linguistic Programming is the study of human excellence.
If NLP is new to you and you'd like to know more, read
Introduction to NLP by Joseph O'Connor and John Seymour.
A library search should turn up other titles.

Jean offers Thoughtfield NLP Practitioner Certification. If you
would like further information, contact me and I'll get you in
touch with Jean. I'm unable to contact her while she's travelling
(while I am writing this) and I won't share her email address
without her OK.

Another avenue you may wish to explore is 'high vibrational
thinking'. All matter and energy vibrate at some frequency. Low
vibrations include negative thoughts and fearful feelings. High
frequencies include joy, peace and empowering thoughts.
Check out http://www.yeshvt.com

Personal empowerment is a path to evolving. The Imp Journal uses
guided journal writing as a way of facilitating greater personal
power for you. Are you finding the answers within rather than
seeking them from an outside authority? Are you taking
responsibility for your own life and circumstances rather than
blaming?

Let "The Imp" contribute to your human evolution. Order your copy
of "The Imp" Journal: Guided Journal Writing for Personal
Empowerment at http://www.theimplady.com/theimpjournal/order-journal.htm
or find it at one of these fine stores in B.C.
http://www.theimplady.com/theimpjournal/popups/where-to-buy.htm

Help young children develop a sense of personal empowerment by
providing choices. For example, choosing which t-shirt he or she
would like to wear. Or being given a choice of whether they want
their egg scrambled, easy over or boiled. The choices are within
the parameters you set. Avoid the pitfall of phrasing questions
in such a way that you get the answer, "no", when 'no' is not an
option.

A powerful question to ask children is, "How does that feel in
your body?" 'That' refers to any event or circumstance the child
encounters.

Ask yourself the same question. It's evolutionary.

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2. Coaching Q&A: A Constant Battle for Attention

Millie's question: "There's lots of crap happening in our family.
Everyone seems to be in a constant battle for attention. How do
I handle myself? What do I do so I don't fall into the trap? How
do I go about keeping my dignity but making my wishes known?"

Dear Millie,
Knowing that you want to find an effective way to deal with the
'crap' is a great first step. "All behavior is simply an attempt
to meet some need," states Dr. Thomas Gordon.

How do you respond to those attempts to get a need met (the cries
for attention)? Typical responses include annoyance, criticism,
judgments, sarcasm and advice. Being on the receiving end of such
responses is uncomfortable! And unproductive for you both.

An alternative is 'Active Listening'. Tune into feelings.
Genuinely listen so the attention-seeker feels understood.
Reflect back the feeling you think they are expressing. For
example, "Sounds like you are feeling pretty upset (or hurt,
discouraged, etc.) about that." Or even, "Seems like you really
want my attention right now? How can I help?" When you can't take
the time, acknowledge that and set a time to listen.

Underlying attention seeking behavior is the basic need to feel
accepted and loved. With time, the person who is regularly
listened to non-judgmentally will feel accepted and loved and the
attention seeking behavior will diminish or even disappear.

The 'other side of the coin' is having your feelings and desires
heard, understood and respected. The key here, too, is to avoid
criticising, judging or blaming. Up come the defenses when that
happens. Then, the other person, busy defending himself, has no
idea what the impact of his behavior is on you. He is not
provided an opportunity to consider what he might do for you.

"I" messages allow you, without blaming, to share how someone's
behavior has impacted you. An "I" message has three parts: When
(describe the situation), I feel (state your feeling) because
(give the reason).

These strategies come from Dr. Thomas Gordon's book "Parent
Effectiveness Training". These same communication skills are
applicable to business relationships as well! Check out the many
resources at http://www.gordontraining.com.

Contact me again, Millie, for a 40-minute complimentary coaching
session. These new ways of relating take time, patience and
practise. The exciting part is, that once family members can
communicate effectively, it frees them up to grow (evolve!).

You may wish to enroll in a Parenting Course in your community
or take a class by telephone through http://www.teleclass.com 
"Parent as Coach" is offered there at intervals.

When your question is answered in this column, you'll receive a
set of whimsical Imp notecards plus a complimentary coaching
session. (Only expense is your long distance phone charge.)
What challenges are you facing on your journey to greater self-
empowerment? Go ahead!

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3.News, Comments, Success Stories, Winners

In the June newsletter, I shared the impact my brother's illness
had on me and my writing. Lanny passed away July 25th from
pancreatic cancer.

Power Therapist, Dale Marie Young, had this comment to make after
buying "The Imp Journal": "What a good idea! For anyone new to
personal growth work, the Imp provides a gentle, inviting way to
do inner emotional work. In a really clear, concise way. Also
fun - the Imp makes it not so scary. Very approachable. It allows
for the level a person is at."

Who do you know that would benefit from "The Imp Journal"?
Order at http://www.theimplady.com/theimpjournal/order-journal.htm
or find it at one of these fine stores in B.C.
http://www.theimplady.com/theimpjournal/popups/where-to-buy.htm

I love helping people grow and become more self-empowered!
Another way I do that is through my Starting Life Over program.
I have set up a bursary program so that anyone who genuinely can
not afford the cost of the 12 week e-mail program can apply for
a reduced price.
Information is at http://www.StartingLifeOver.com

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4.Inspirational Message to Ponder
The Imp encourages you to write the quote on a card, read it
regularly, and then journal about your thoughts, insights,
feelings and, especially, actions.

"If I were to wish for anything, I should not wish for wealth and
power, but for the passionate sense of potential -- for the eye
which, ever young and ardent, sees the possible. Pleasure
disappoints; possibility never." Søren Kierkegaard

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Please share this "IMPressions" newsletter with your friends.
Just hit the forward button on your e-mail program...

Look for your next newsletter in mid-September.

Warmly, "The Imp and I", Beverley ;-)

Beverley Howden, M.Ed.
"The Imp Lady"
Author, Speaker,
Personal Empowerment Facilitator,

1-250-897-0992

 

The Imp is the delight of my life starting over in 1993.
My other website is www.StartingLifeOver.com

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